Category: Parenting

How to Respond When Your Children Don't Want to Attend Church

7/4/2020

You didn't raise them that way. All of a sudden - your children, grandchildren, spouse or boyfriend has lost interest in church. Nothing particular or offensive happened - they just have other interests.

Disciples are developed in the mundane - the everyday, weekly, monthly routine habits. "In person" worship is one of those habits - it's the fourth commandment (Exodus 20:8-11). God's people keep the Sabbath day holy - a day believers are to set apart for the Lord.

When your children fail to worship on Sundays, they're unknowingly declaring, "I'm not part of God's people."

The COVID-19 pandemic has made it easy to slip out the back door - all of a sudden, those closest to you haven't been to church in months and you're concerned they've lost interest.

Here are four ways to re-engage your children to church:

1). Communicate on Saturday that you want them to attend with you on Sunday morning. Sunday morning worship is a Saturday decision. Don't make late Saturday night plans - get your clothes ready, offering ready, Bible ready - you want to communicate that Sunday mornings are for the Lord. If you wake-up on Sunday, trying to decide if you're headed to church...it's tempting to stay home. "As for me and my family, we will worship the Lord." Joshua 24:15 CSB

2). Offer to take your children to lunch after church. It's 4th of July Weekend, after worship, take them out to have BBQ. City Barbecue is down the street from our church - instead of going out on Friday or Saturday - take your family out for lunch on Sundays.

3). Buy your child a new Bible or a new Christian book to read together. Sherri and I read books together - we recently began reading, "Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus: A Devout Muslim Encounters Christianity" by Nabeel Qureshi. The strength of reading together is accountability - if you get your children to begin reading together, it's much easier for them to accept attending church together. The goal is to grow in the Lord with your son, wife, or granddaughter - you have to establish common spiritual things to discuss - when you read the same verses of Scripture, chapter of a book, and listen to the same sermon - you can discuss what God is teaching you.

4). Stay and sit with your family. If you're always serving in the nursery, children's church, welcome center, or singing in the choir - your children or spouse doesn't want to sit alone in the pew. You have to look through the lenses of people who don't know anyone at church - to expect your grandchildren to "feel at home" while at church, will take some time.

Church attendance is about connections - you want your children to connect with God - one of the ways you make that possible is to remove every possible barrier and excuse.

Related Posts
3 Signs it's Time for You to Change Churches
4 Keys to Disciplining Teenagers
Which Children's Bible Should You Buy?
Which Bible Should you Buy your Preteen or Teenager?

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Molded (from Sherri)

9/27/2014

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Life was just starting to normalize at our house until the dreaded body cast. Esther has some orthopedic conditions that had to be addressed upon arrival home, one of which included getting a spica, or body cast. I feel like the Duggars minus 15 children! Our routine has been thrown into shambles as we all attempt to readjust life, most especially Esther. How do you explain to a 2 year-old child that complete disablement of movement is necessary for healing? It's not that easy. Sweet Esther will be casted until Christmas, but don't think that something as small as a body cast is going to stop her. She has such a determined spirit that she has already learned how to maneuver to her desired locations. Her fortitude is absolutely inspiring. Against so many odds, she refuses to give up.

As I was thinking about Esther's circumstances today I couldn't help but relate it to our Christian walk with Christ. Esther was placed in a cast by her parents for a reason, a good reason. But that doesn't mean the circumstances aren't difficult. They may even seem impossible. Yet these limitations currently being placed on Esther are to help her. It is what's best. Parents see the big picture when children don't understand. This is when we reserve the right to say "because I said so."

God can be reflected perfectly through this illustration. Often God places us in situations that are miserable, unbearable and we call out to Him and ask "why?" But just like the cast is molding Esther, helping her develop, God is also helping us grow. Tonight I read "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9). This is so difficult. But God does not want His children to rely on themselves. He wants us to trust His plan and let Him strengthen us during difficult times. So even though I feel like I am losing control as chaos ensues, I have to know that I must let go of control so that God can lead.

Recovering from surgery

Taking a stroll to the koi pond

Four children

Lounging around

Baby Dedication

Esther's first visit to the fair!

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Defiance, Disobedience (from Sherri)

2/5/2014

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Our defiant 1 year-old son throwing a tantrum because we took a snowball away.

As a parent, God constantly uses my children to show me my own imperfections. It amazes me how sin can reside in such young children through defiance and disobedience. Why do children choose to disobey and back-talk when they clearly have consequences waiting for them? God gently chides me and reminds me that I also back-talk and show defiance through disobedience. I logically know that God's will is best, yet I resist. Why? As Christians I think we are called "God's children" for a reason. Children need guidance, assistance, reprimanding, but also love and support. What a wonderful Father I have in heaven that wants to "lead me on the path of righteousness for His name's sake." Psalm 23:3 I pray that instead of listening after the third time of instructions I will act on immediate obedience. I often tell my children that slow obedience is no obedience. God wants us to be like Abraham and act immediately on His instructions, not delay His will for our lives. How often do we miss being God's servants because of slow action or inaction.

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Tattletales (from Sherri)

8/9/2013

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Parents with school age children know all too well about tattling. It is a constant battle at our house. “Mom, sister pushed me.” “Mom, brother won’t quit playing with my toys.” My children even tattle on my husband, telling me that he let them have candy while I was away from the house! Every second is accounted for and if necessary tattled on. Yesterday I was so tired of hearing about other people’s problems I just plugged my ears! Children are always so concerned about others, when they really just need to focus on themselves.

But wait, don’t we as Christians have the same problem? How often have I gone before God and complained because I didn’t feel I was being treated fair. I am just like my children! I run to God and tell Him about other people’s problems. I have so many improvements I need to make on myself I shouldn’t be concerned about someone else’s spiritual walk with God.

"Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners-of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life." (1 Timothy 1: 15-16) I am so thankful that God has “unlimited patience” with me. My prayer today is that I will try to be more like God so that my children see Jesus’ love in me. Instead of plugging my ears, I will listen, and I will teach. Lord help me to love like You.

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4 Keys to Disciplining Teenagers

1/10/2013

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Do you have teenagers with an attitude? Does your 10th grader know more than you? Parents of teenagers can struggle with how to discipline their teens.

Obviously when a child grows older they earn more freedom - but they're not ready to be treated like they're 25 when they're 15.

Your children needs you the most in middle school, high school and the transition to college. Don't pull back and believe the lie, "He's an adult when he's 18."

Discipline is more than punishing your kids. It's establishing an environment with these 4 keys:

1). Structure. Routines are good. They keep you in daily Bible study, keep you at church on Sundays, and keep you going to bed and getting up at the same hour. Your teenagers shouldn't live a "whatever" lifestyle - waiting on a text from a friend for something fun and free to cure their boredom. Structure also improves your teenagers' grades.

2). Consistency. If you threaten to take away their phone for not taking out the trash when asked, and they wrote you off - your teen's phone should be confiscated. Consistency shows you're serious. If you don't come through on your word, you become a noise-maker to your daughter. Power with no punch.

3). Love. You must have the best interests for your teenager. They don't always know their best interests. Two 16 year olds shouldn't be riding around Newnan at 1 a.m. on a date in his truck. They're not doing Bible study at 1 a.m. You must lovingly tell your son, "no." You're not a "yes man," rather his dad.

4). Consequences. She said she was going over to her best friend's - but ended up at her boyfriends'...Your teenager will lie to you - and you respond with consequences. There goes the phone, the Xbox, the car, the basketball team - you take away what they love the most. Remember, it's possible to grow up without a phone - and no one uses a phone, "only for emergencies."

Avoid using church as a consequence. Possibly no Winter Jam or no youth softball - but preventing your daughter to worship and hear the Word ultimately hinders their developing relationship with Christ.

Related Posts:

Which Bible Should You Buy Your Preteen or Teenager?
5 Secrets to a Successful Preteen Ministry

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How to Respond When Your Children Don't Want to Attend Church

Molded (from Sherri)

Defiance, Disobedience (from Sherri)

Tattletales (from Sherri)

4 Keys to Disciplining Teenagers

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